Be your own best friend - Power Woman Project South Africa
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Be your own best friend

Have you ever?

Have you ever walked past a mirror and thought something negative about yourself? Something like “Wow my hair is just not working today” or “I wish I was just a little skinnier”. As soon as we see that one negative thing in our reflection, we zone in on it and all of a sudden, it may as well have a glaring red sign with alarm bells because it is so obvious. What about when we are really stressed and just keep pushing ourselves to get everything done before that deadline? We choose to turn ourselves into these little stress balls instead of trusting in our own abilities to get the work done.

Tia Van logg

I’ve recently been inspired by the incredible power woman project coaches and I realised something … We ladies should treat ourselves like we are our own best friends. When our best friend is struggling to get things done, instead of adding to the stress, we tell them everything will be okay and those words seem to be the rescue remedy they need to push through. Here are a few situations that I am personally working on, and I think we can all work on, so that instead of being critical of ourselves, we actually give ourselves the love and support we need – the type of love and support we would give to our best friend if they were in our shoes.

#1 – Every time I look in the mirror and think of something negative

Instead of zoning in on the negative things, like we don’t seem to fit into those skinny jeans the way the model did or that our nose is completely wrong for our face, rather try and think of something positive. Think of something you love about yourself, whether it is your smile or your hair or your killer calf muscles and even if it takes you twenty minutes to find something you love about your body, and tell yourself that you are beautiful because of it – just like your best friend would. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and you are powerful, and while it may seem super corny at first and you may feel like a bit of an idiot for doing it, before long you won’t need to search for something positive to think about. You’ll automatically start thinking more positively about yourself and with that comes confidence and a greater sense of self-love. Try it out and you may find that soon enough, you start to believe what you tell yourself in the mirror.

#2 – When there just seems to be too much work that needs to be done

When your best friend is stressed about work, you say: “Stop stressing you’ll get it all done. Just take a deep breath and take things one step at a time. Before you know it, everything will be done and you can relax again.”

When you’re stressing about work and someone tries to help you you tell yourself: “Are they crazy? Do they not understand how much needs to get done? This conversation is wasting valuable working hours that I need so I can finish everything! Ugh this is impossible!”

The crucial thing to do when you start feeling overwhelmed by work, is to actually force yourself to stop and tell yourself that you can cope and you will manage. It will probably seem impossible at first, so maybe ask a family member/close friend/ partner to say this to you or even make a recording on your phone or a little sticky note reminder. The more we stress, the less we get done because so much of our energy is being swallowed by anxiety that it actually takes us more time to complete the work. Be a little more loving towards yourself and tell yourself the words that you wish your best friend would tell you.

#3 – You’re feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions/ you’re feeling depressed or sad/ something hasn’t gone according to plan

Instead of bottling things up and keeping your sadness or hurt trapped inside of you, let it out in anyway you need so that you can confront the emotion, regain control over it and move on stronger than ever. I am particularly guilty of bottling things up, ask anyone who knows me, so trust me that I am speaking from experience. If you feel the need to take a Friday evening and curl up under your blankets to sob your eyes out, then do it! It is human to cry and to feel sadness and once you’ve cried and allowed yourself to feel all of those emotions, you will be able to build that bridge and get over it with a greater sense of confidence for not letting that demon beat you. What if you need to forget about your diet for one night and pig out on takeaways and chocolate and ice cream? Take the time to treat yourself and indulge that sweet tooth (no – this is not me saying that you can do this for days on repeat, but rather do it sparingly, when you really need it) and then let that sweetness spread. Let that sweetness be what puts a new smile on your face and gives you a greater sense of dedication and grit to move forward bigger and better than before. You’d do this with your bestie wouldn’t you? So why not just do it with yourself?

#4 – Last one (for now) … You just need to take a break

One thing that my best friend used to do for me, before she moved, is whenever I just needed to take a break she would invite me over and we would watch tons of bad movies and play games, or we would go out to a movie and escape the relentless beating of life. I don’t know if this is true for all of you but I think that when we need to take some time for ourselves, we should all do something like this. Maybe there is a movie you’ve been desperate to watch or a book you’ve been meaning to read? Take three hours out of your day and do it! Maybe you just need something to lower the blood pressure and can’t afford to go and spend the day at a spa – so why not run yourself a bubble bath, light some candles, put your feet up and soak for a little bit. Start listening to yourself and if you don’t have someone to kidnap you from the humdrum way of life, then be that independent power woman and kidnap yourself for a few hours, just to give yourself some time to regain some strength and peace of mind.

Our bodies are our vehicles, and our mind is the driver, so if we don’t listen to one or both then slowly we will lose control on the road of life. It is always most important to look after yourself, and I know I say this in all of my posts but it is true. In the greater scheme of things, “me, myself and I” comes first and if there is one thing you take away from this, it would be to look after yourself before you look after someone else. I hope that you’ve found some of this helpful and that next time you’re feeling a little negative, instead of being harsh you rather give yourself the support you need and be your own best friend.

See you next time! Lot’s of love Tia xx

P.S. If anyone has any tips or stories of their own, please share it with me and with all of us here at the Power Woman Project, or if you have any questions or are looking for any other advice, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment and I’ll reply as soon as I can. xx

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